I have an awesome sense of humor. I've always felt that's the one thing that has gotten me through my trials and tribulations up to now. That, and I'm extremely stubborn and determined when I want and need to be.
Usually, when life hands me lemons, instead of making lemonade, I juggle the yellow fruit and laugh. Not a chuckle, but a heart-felt, tear-inducing, side-splitting laugh. Okay, so that doesn't solve the problem, but it does make it easier to deal with the lemon-thrower, and eventually, the lemons themselves.
I've had some lemons thrown lately...which led me to this post, obviously.
I should clarify that the lemons (and I promise I'll stop using the "lemon" metaphor) were not thrown all at once, but slowly I've begun to realize that I have a few issues that I need to address.
Another thing about me...I love the River of Denial. I'll swan-dive headfirst into the center and backstroke around in circles until I'm exhausted, with the reasons that I'm emersing myself in the cool blackness waving at me from the grassy banks, teeth barred.
I have this talent of convincing myself that situations or issues that I don't want to deal with do not somehow apply to me. In my mind, if I don't think about them or even acknowledge them, they'll just simply go away like a whisper on the wind.
Those of us here in the Real World know this does not happen. Heh. All that causes is a nervous breakdown, or an avalanche of lemons (sorry, couldn't resist that one more time).
I thought I had a grip on the whole denial thing, but I realized lately, that I don't. The rug that I sweep everything under is looking like it's expecting babies anytime. So, I've started pulling one issue at a time out from under the rug and outright dealing with it. Something I'm very new at.
My whole point now is to control my life and not let it control me.
I'm off track and I've tried to remember in the past how I've dealt with getting back on track...then it hit me....with waves and rolls of laughter. I laughed 'till I cried. I slapped my thigh wiping tears and holding my stomach. I bellowed and tittered so loud my daughters thought I was having a breakdown of sorts!
However, the next morning when I got out of bed and wondered why my stomach muscles hurt, I smiled that knowing smile and laughed again...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Church Is In Session
Sigh.
I've been trying to write this entry for several weeks now. It seemed there was always a "reason" why I couldn't make an entry. See, when I first started this blog, I promised myself that I would be honest with myself when I posted here. No bullshit, and no saying what I thought should be said, but what I felt. Sort of my version of a church, so to speak.
I couldn't understand why I was having such a difficult time writing when one, I love to write and two, I love to have an opinion. Then I realized...I wasn't ready to be honest with myself.
It's been awhile since I've posted and Alistair, bless you, even posted to check on me. I wasn't ready to be truthful when that's the one thing I've been so adamant about lately.
He got out of jail two weeks ago tomorrow...
Yeah, I wasn't sure how I felt about that for awhile. Part of me was happy, not only for our son and his mother, but myself as well. But the majority of myself felt caged and smothered. Obviously, that worried me. Why did I feel trapped or that I couldn't breathe when I supposedly loved this person so much?
That same part of myself wondered then why he hurt me in the first place if he loved me so much? Why did he put me, and our families, through all this pain and suffering? Why did it take so much for him to realize what he had and what he wanted?
Did he realize how many times I'd heard the things he was saying? Did he know that I did not believe him? Did he care? I was astonished that I really didn't believe him. I was amazed that I really believed that I deserved better. I was terrified that I knew from the moment I saw him that I didn't have any chances left for him. Where did that leave us and our son?
I struggled with that for a long time, resorting to my old ways of putting off things that I loved and enjoyed doing. I began to walk on eggshells and hid my feelings so as to not upset him. I back-tracked by trying to make everyone, but myself and my children, happy.
I forgot why I decided to live again.
Because I was, am, worth more and deserve much better...because my KIDS are worth more and deserve so much better...
When I finally got to my feet again, I felt like I was starting all over. I got mad that everyone was worried about their feelings and how this was effecting them. Really? I sure as hell don't remember anyone else there on those nights!! No one, in the last several weeks, asked how I felt about all this. All I heard was everyone else's suggestions, opinions, and feelings...
Finally, my mother asked how I felt...and the dam broke.
Fear, confusion, love, excitement, anger, resentment...I'm a rainbow of emotions. However, the strongest emotion is determination. I will not be hurt again. I will not put my...our children through any more pain. They are first in my life, everything else is second.
For the first time in my life, I am standing on my own two feet. I actually like it. I don't want to give it up. I love my independence and freedom. I love the fact that I'm starting to really like myself and believe in myself.
I love the fact that I'm getting to know my kids all over again. We play and talk and cry...we're becoming a family. I'm their world and they're mine.
Maybe this post isn't as fluid as the others, or perhaps this one is a bit more raw and scattered. Either way, the point of the whole post is...I came, and I did post, and I was honest with myself...
I don't need a man to complete me. I'm just now realizing that. I need my kids, and I have that. If I go back to him...then I may loose them and I will NEVER EVER risk loosing them again... I came too close this last time, on many levels.
I'm realizing my denial. I'm accepting my reality.
It's very hard to go through something like this. There's two sides to this equation...the side that hates him, and doesn't want to hear anything at all about him; and the side that's for him, and doesn't want to hear anything bad about him. I have no one to talk to about this.
So, I came here...
I'm in the process of researching a website dedicated to domestic violence. I'd started a website years ago to deal with another tough issue, and it helped not only myself, but many others...I'm hoping the idea will work again.
And again, not only helping myself, but others in my shoes...
Also, I plan to write again. I was good at that once upon a time, actually very good. I plan to write what I know....
So, I guess the moral to this lesson is denial is a deep, dark river and if not careful, one can convince themselves of things that aren't, and can never be, and end up drowning in the river they've spent a lifetime filling.
Amen.
I've been trying to write this entry for several weeks now. It seemed there was always a "reason" why I couldn't make an entry. See, when I first started this blog, I promised myself that I would be honest with myself when I posted here. No bullshit, and no saying what I thought should be said, but what I felt. Sort of my version of a church, so to speak.
I couldn't understand why I was having such a difficult time writing when one, I love to write and two, I love to have an opinion. Then I realized...I wasn't ready to be honest with myself.
It's been awhile since I've posted and Alistair, bless you, even posted to check on me. I wasn't ready to be truthful when that's the one thing I've been so adamant about lately.
He got out of jail two weeks ago tomorrow...
Yeah, I wasn't sure how I felt about that for awhile. Part of me was happy, not only for our son and his mother, but myself as well. But the majority of myself felt caged and smothered. Obviously, that worried me. Why did I feel trapped or that I couldn't breathe when I supposedly loved this person so much?
That same part of myself wondered then why he hurt me in the first place if he loved me so much? Why did he put me, and our families, through all this pain and suffering? Why did it take so much for him to realize what he had and what he wanted?
Did he realize how many times I'd heard the things he was saying? Did he know that I did not believe him? Did he care? I was astonished that I really didn't believe him. I was amazed that I really believed that I deserved better. I was terrified that I knew from the moment I saw him that I didn't have any chances left for him. Where did that leave us and our son?
I struggled with that for a long time, resorting to my old ways of putting off things that I loved and enjoyed doing. I began to walk on eggshells and hid my feelings so as to not upset him. I back-tracked by trying to make everyone, but myself and my children, happy.
I forgot why I decided to live again.
Because I was, am, worth more and deserve much better...because my KIDS are worth more and deserve so much better...
When I finally got to my feet again, I felt like I was starting all over. I got mad that everyone was worried about their feelings and how this was effecting them. Really? I sure as hell don't remember anyone else there on those nights!! No one, in the last several weeks, asked how I felt about all this. All I heard was everyone else's suggestions, opinions, and feelings...
Finally, my mother asked how I felt...and the dam broke.
Fear, confusion, love, excitement, anger, resentment...I'm a rainbow of emotions. However, the strongest emotion is determination. I will not be hurt again. I will not put my...our children through any more pain. They are first in my life, everything else is second.
For the first time in my life, I am standing on my own two feet. I actually like it. I don't want to give it up. I love my independence and freedom. I love the fact that I'm starting to really like myself and believe in myself.
I love the fact that I'm getting to know my kids all over again. We play and talk and cry...we're becoming a family. I'm their world and they're mine.
Maybe this post isn't as fluid as the others, or perhaps this one is a bit more raw and scattered. Either way, the point of the whole post is...I came, and I did post, and I was honest with myself...
I don't need a man to complete me. I'm just now realizing that. I need my kids, and I have that. If I go back to him...then I may loose them and I will NEVER EVER risk loosing them again... I came too close this last time, on many levels.
I'm realizing my denial. I'm accepting my reality.
It's very hard to go through something like this. There's two sides to this equation...the side that hates him, and doesn't want to hear anything at all about him; and the side that's for him, and doesn't want to hear anything bad about him. I have no one to talk to about this.
So, I came here...
I'm in the process of researching a website dedicated to domestic violence. I'd started a website years ago to deal with another tough issue, and it helped not only myself, but many others...I'm hoping the idea will work again.
And again, not only helping myself, but others in my shoes...
Also, I plan to write again. I was good at that once upon a time, actually very good. I plan to write what I know....
So, I guess the moral to this lesson is denial is a deep, dark river and if not careful, one can convince themselves of things that aren't, and can never be, and end up drowning in the river they've spent a lifetime filling.
Amen.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Customer Service With a Smile
I work in Customer Service, so I come in contact with many people daily. From the person who rings up my gas, to the person who hands me my morning coffee, to the people who call my service center for help with their particular issue. I always approach my job by putting myself in their shoes.
Each day, I talk to about 40 different people, sometimes more or less. But I always try to leave them a piece of my smile. A feature that hasn't been genuinely with me for a very long time. It's very hard to force a smile, but I've got an awesome sense of humor that helps when the smile won't budge. It's the only thing I had left after this relationship, he'd "destroyed" everything else.
When I first started this blog a couple weeks ago, I wasn't intending for "world recognition" or even site recognition. Imagine my surprise when I logged in tonight to make my weekly post and discovered that PurestGreen and Alistair had posted comments for me. (Thank you again!!)
They will never know how those posts affected me.
It's been a little over 6 weeks since my boyfriend was arrested for slamming my head against the cabinets with our two year old as a witness (before anyone calls the authorities, they are already involved....I called them). This was the 3rd time that I had called the police over his abuse...not the 3rd time that he's done it, just the 3rd time that I'd had enough, and called.
In those 6 weeks...I'd moved from the common home we'd shared back in with my parents. I've not discussed my thoughts or feelings or even really what happened with anyone, other than the police and the DCS department. I've gone internal with all of my feelings, thoughts and reactions. I keep it to myself.
I just go through my days, which have turned to weeks, praying each day will be better. The one thing that's been constant is my growing sense of self. Which, let's face it, if you've ever been involved in anything like this, you know what I'm talking about. You loose yourself in the other person. You become so obsessed with warding off the next "outburst" that you give up everything just to make sure he's happy.
You let go of family, friends, and God forgive me, but you put your children second, after his needs are met. You let go of yourself, your looks, your ideas, your thoughts, hell, even your basic decision making skills are gone... you become his shadow, his maid, his whatever he needs at the time to keep him from blowing up....and there are times when that doesn't work...like 6 weeks ago.
This time my son witnessed his father's actions. Before, none of our kids had ever witnessed his "outbursts". Alistair had verbalized my worst fear. He's never shown any violence towards our children, in fact, he's the opposite, but after this last time... that thought was in the back of my head. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he ever hurt any of the kids....
PurestGreen mentioned martyrdom, as well. Thank you. I'd been looking for a definition of what I'd been feeling. That's exactly it. Throughout all of our relationship, I kept telling myself that no one has ever given him a chance or they had all screwed him over or they had never understood him or that he'd always gotten the raw end of the deal...insert any excuse you like here...my point is I was willing to stay and sacrifice and give up and let go cause I'd interpreted his past as he'd been treated wrong. When all along, it was him, not his past or not me.
I had been knocked down so much by then that not only had I lost myself, but everything that went with that, except my sense of humor. Go figure. Thank God, cause that's what has gotten me through everything lately, and really helped in rebuilding myself back up.
Alistair said it best...I know what I have to do, I just haven't accepted it.
Does it break my heart? Yes, but he'd already done that so this is just like pouring salt in it. But my son witnessed his "outburst" this time. What if next time....
I've been talking to him, and he constantly tells me that he misses me and that he can't wait to see me...but what we don't talk about is why he's there, we just talk about him getting out and what to do to make that happen and when it will be. We don't talk about the pain he's caused me and the kids and our families...cause that would upset him and, Lord, knows we can't upset him while he's in jail....
We don't even mention the reason that he's even there...cause that would be bringing up the past. That would be upsetting him. While I am still in love with him...something has changed lately that never had happened before...I am starting to realize just what I'm worth and what I will and will not put up with.
I'm starting to find my balls, frankly.
I had a few before he and I met, but while we were together I became a doormat, afraid of my own shadow. But now, I'm the one taking care of my kids, going to work every day, getting relationships back with my kids and my parents... hell, I'm getting relationships back with someone other than him....
My point to this whole post was....excellent customer service PurestGreen and Alistair, you left me with a piece of your smile....
Till next week....
Each day, I talk to about 40 different people, sometimes more or less. But I always try to leave them a piece of my smile. A feature that hasn't been genuinely with me for a very long time. It's very hard to force a smile, but I've got an awesome sense of humor that helps when the smile won't budge. It's the only thing I had left after this relationship, he'd "destroyed" everything else.
When I first started this blog a couple weeks ago, I wasn't intending for "world recognition" or even site recognition. Imagine my surprise when I logged in tonight to make my weekly post and discovered that PurestGreen and Alistair had posted comments for me. (Thank you again!!)
They will never know how those posts affected me.
It's been a little over 6 weeks since my boyfriend was arrested for slamming my head against the cabinets with our two year old as a witness (before anyone calls the authorities, they are already involved....I called them). This was the 3rd time that I had called the police over his abuse...not the 3rd time that he's done it, just the 3rd time that I'd had enough, and called.
In those 6 weeks...I'd moved from the common home we'd shared back in with my parents. I've not discussed my thoughts or feelings or even really what happened with anyone, other than the police and the DCS department. I've gone internal with all of my feelings, thoughts and reactions. I keep it to myself.
I just go through my days, which have turned to weeks, praying each day will be better. The one thing that's been constant is my growing sense of self. Which, let's face it, if you've ever been involved in anything like this, you know what I'm talking about. You loose yourself in the other person. You become so obsessed with warding off the next "outburst" that you give up everything just to make sure he's happy.
You let go of family, friends, and God forgive me, but you put your children second, after his needs are met. You let go of yourself, your looks, your ideas, your thoughts, hell, even your basic decision making skills are gone... you become his shadow, his maid, his whatever he needs at the time to keep him from blowing up....and there are times when that doesn't work...like 6 weeks ago.
This time my son witnessed his father's actions. Before, none of our kids had ever witnessed his "outbursts". Alistair had verbalized my worst fear. He's never shown any violence towards our children, in fact, he's the opposite, but after this last time... that thought was in the back of my head. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he ever hurt any of the kids....
PurestGreen mentioned martyrdom, as well. Thank you. I'd been looking for a definition of what I'd been feeling. That's exactly it. Throughout all of our relationship, I kept telling myself that no one has ever given him a chance or they had all screwed him over or they had never understood him or that he'd always gotten the raw end of the deal...insert any excuse you like here...my point is I was willing to stay and sacrifice and give up and let go cause I'd interpreted his past as he'd been treated wrong. When all along, it was him, not his past or not me.
I had been knocked down so much by then that not only had I lost myself, but everything that went with that, except my sense of humor. Go figure. Thank God, cause that's what has gotten me through everything lately, and really helped in rebuilding myself back up.
Alistair said it best...I know what I have to do, I just haven't accepted it.
Does it break my heart? Yes, but he'd already done that so this is just like pouring salt in it. But my son witnessed his "outburst" this time. What if next time....
I've been talking to him, and he constantly tells me that he misses me and that he can't wait to see me...but what we don't talk about is why he's there, we just talk about him getting out and what to do to make that happen and when it will be. We don't talk about the pain he's caused me and the kids and our families...cause that would upset him and, Lord, knows we can't upset him while he's in jail....
We don't even mention the reason that he's even there...cause that would be bringing up the past. That would be upsetting him. While I am still in love with him...something has changed lately that never had happened before...I am starting to realize just what I'm worth and what I will and will not put up with.
I'm starting to find my balls, frankly.
I had a few before he and I met, but while we were together I became a doormat, afraid of my own shadow. But now, I'm the one taking care of my kids, going to work every day, getting relationships back with my kids and my parents... hell, I'm getting relationships back with someone other than him....
My point to this whole post was....excellent customer service PurestGreen and Alistair, you left me with a piece of your smile....
Till next week....
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thanks to the Cabinets
When you're in love, nothing makes sense.... and absolutely nothing matters.... You want to spend every waking minute with that love of your life and every breathing second next to him no matter if you're asleep, passed out or just sitting there picking your nose.
The point is...it doesn't matter.... it doesn't matter if he gets mad over something trivial and ignores you for 3 days; it doesn't matter if he smiles and talks to everyone else but not you, even though you've spent every moment agreeing with him and attending to his every need; it doesn't matter that he gets mad at you for a friend of his texting you a simple 'Happy Valentine's Day' and then makes you cry all day (and, you didn't return the text... nor did *he* even offer a 'Happy Valentine's Day' to you, even when you did to him); it doesn't matter that he slams your head into the cabinets for really no reason at all....
Love is blind... and very, very stupid... and sometimes too forgiving....
That's where I am.... standing here, a stupid look on my face, a broken heart, and wearing the damn T-shirt for women everywhere like me.... "What? I bruise very easy. He IS sorry... for the fifth time..."
I used to believe that the man who said that he loved me would defend me from any harm. That he would "beat-up" anyone who would try to hurt me.... currently, the only person he has beat up, is me.... I can talk him down from attacking OTHER people, I just can't stop him from hurting ME.... other than to be away from him.... like now.
That DOES make sense to me... Let me just clear one thing up right now, I AM educated and I DO know right from wrong.... I just got lost for a bit and have recently, thanks to the cabinets, been enlightened as to what I'm worth and what I'm not going to take....
It's just hard getting my head and my heart on the same page.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, and that is not just a denfense on his part. He IS a great guy. He just cannot drink whiskey. It's like flippping a switch with him. One minute he's standing there talking, the next he's tossing you across the room. It makes no sense.
So, right now, I'm staying with my parents, and he's in jail.
My heart is breaking because I know he's a great guy. And I am completely and utterly in love with him.
I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to be what and who he wanted. I walked around with blinders on so that I did not do anything to make him mad. I walk around on egg shells so as to not make him mad. I did not talk to ANYONE just so I would not risk pissing him off.
It did absolutely no good. We still fought. He thought any male that I talked to I was screwing. I wasn't. I wanted only him. I'm fairly certain that he was faithful to me too. Our main issue is that everyone in our past has screwed us over... Even though we know we are meant to be together, we still did not beleive each other or trust each other farther than we could throw each other... it is sick... and very sad. We've spent 4 years togehter and it's a stent in jail that finally makes us admit how we both really feel to each other.
"Hey, I love you, but I don't trust you."
That's pretty f***ed up. But pretty much what happened. At first that was okay with me, till the cabinets, then I started thinking that I should not... would not be ANYONE's punching bag. I'm better than that. HE's better than that.
He says he's sorry. I've heard that before. We've been together for 4 years and this is the 3rd time the police have been involed, but I can't tell you the number of times that he's said he's sorry.
I want to believe him on this sorry, but my head is telling me what everyone else who cares about me is saying, "He'll do it again. Maybe not next month or 6 months from now. But he WILL do it again. Maybe that time, he'll even kill you."
But my heart is completly listening to him... I can't shut the feelings off just because it is "socallly" correct, or because the police or a judge says I have too... it doesn't happen that way...
I love him....
*Sigh* ... But I know what's right, and I know what's wrong.
Like I said, I just have to get my heart and my head on the same page....
But then again, time does heal a lot of wounds..... and if he could prove that he has changed.... But I know.... it takes a lot to make a person change... and even more to convince someone that a person has really changed....
So you see where I am... the Back of Beyond... I have no idea where I am... I love him and I hate him... Is that normal???
Till next time....
The point is...it doesn't matter.... it doesn't matter if he gets mad over something trivial and ignores you for 3 days; it doesn't matter if he smiles and talks to everyone else but not you, even though you've spent every moment agreeing with him and attending to his every need; it doesn't matter that he gets mad at you for a friend of his texting you a simple 'Happy Valentine's Day' and then makes you cry all day (and, you didn't return the text... nor did *he* even offer a 'Happy Valentine's Day' to you, even when you did to him); it doesn't matter that he slams your head into the cabinets for really no reason at all....
Love is blind... and very, very stupid... and sometimes too forgiving....
That's where I am.... standing here, a stupid look on my face, a broken heart, and wearing the damn T-shirt for women everywhere like me.... "What? I bruise very easy. He IS sorry... for the fifth time..."
I used to believe that the man who said that he loved me would defend me from any harm. That he would "beat-up" anyone who would try to hurt me.... currently, the only person he has beat up, is me.... I can talk him down from attacking OTHER people, I just can't stop him from hurting ME.... other than to be away from him.... like now.
That DOES make sense to me... Let me just clear one thing up right now, I AM educated and I DO know right from wrong.... I just got lost for a bit and have recently, thanks to the cabinets, been enlightened as to what I'm worth and what I'm not going to take....
It's just hard getting my head and my heart on the same page.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, and that is not just a denfense on his part. He IS a great guy. He just cannot drink whiskey. It's like flippping a switch with him. One minute he's standing there talking, the next he's tossing you across the room. It makes no sense.
So, right now, I'm staying with my parents, and he's in jail.
My heart is breaking because I know he's a great guy. And I am completely and utterly in love with him.
I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to be what and who he wanted. I walked around with blinders on so that I did not do anything to make him mad. I walk around on egg shells so as to not make him mad. I did not talk to ANYONE just so I would not risk pissing him off.
It did absolutely no good. We still fought. He thought any male that I talked to I was screwing. I wasn't. I wanted only him. I'm fairly certain that he was faithful to me too. Our main issue is that everyone in our past has screwed us over... Even though we know we are meant to be together, we still did not beleive each other or trust each other farther than we could throw each other... it is sick... and very sad. We've spent 4 years togehter and it's a stent in jail that finally makes us admit how we both really feel to each other.
"Hey, I love you, but I don't trust you."
That's pretty f***ed up. But pretty much what happened. At first that was okay with me, till the cabinets, then I started thinking that I should not... would not be ANYONE's punching bag. I'm better than that. HE's better than that.
He says he's sorry. I've heard that before. We've been together for 4 years and this is the 3rd time the police have been involed, but I can't tell you the number of times that he's said he's sorry.
I want to believe him on this sorry, but my head is telling me what everyone else who cares about me is saying, "He'll do it again. Maybe not next month or 6 months from now. But he WILL do it again. Maybe that time, he'll even kill you."
But my heart is completly listening to him... I can't shut the feelings off just because it is "socallly" correct, or because the police or a judge says I have too... it doesn't happen that way...
I love him....
*Sigh* ... But I know what's right, and I know what's wrong.
Like I said, I just have to get my heart and my head on the same page....
But then again, time does heal a lot of wounds..... and if he could prove that he has changed.... But I know.... it takes a lot to make a person change... and even more to convince someone that a person has really changed....
So you see where I am... the Back of Beyond... I have no idea where I am... I love him and I hate him... Is that normal???
Till next time....
In The Beginning
In the beginning, God created Man.
Then He eventually created Woman to keep Man, not only company but, let's face it, in line. Although Eve gave Adam the apple, he didn't have to eat it, but he did. Thus, history was made....and, zillions of years later, woman all over the world are still hearing about it and "paying" for it, and still receiving the "blame" for offering the apple that, after it was all said and done, ended Eden.
Okay, so my point is, if God created Adam first, then by birth order, he was the older and supposedly wiser of the two. I've read the Bible many, many times over my life, and also read many different religious versions of the Bible. However, you know, Adam could have said no, and being the older of the two, could have said, "Hey Evie, I'm sure the Big Guy would get a little pissed over us eating from that particular tree", but oh no, when it was all said and done... Eve got the blame.
That's my point.
The man messes up and women are left to clean up the mess. Now this blog is not in any way meant to be a religious blog. It's just my blog. Read it long enough and you'll understand why I began the way that I did.
Till next time....
Then He eventually created Woman to keep Man, not only company but, let's face it, in line. Although Eve gave Adam the apple, he didn't have to eat it, but he did. Thus, history was made....and, zillions of years later, woman all over the world are still hearing about it and "paying" for it, and still receiving the "blame" for offering the apple that, after it was all said and done, ended Eden.
Okay, so my point is, if God created Adam first, then by birth order, he was the older and supposedly wiser of the two. I've read the Bible many, many times over my life, and also read many different religious versions of the Bible. However, you know, Adam could have said no, and being the older of the two, could have said, "Hey Evie, I'm sure the Big Guy would get a little pissed over us eating from that particular tree", but oh no, when it was all said and done... Eve got the blame.
That's my point.
The man messes up and women are left to clean up the mess. Now this blog is not in any way meant to be a religious blog. It's just my blog. Read it long enough and you'll understand why I began the way that I did.
Till next time....
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